Eluned G. Sharron Bethea » October 2007 Journal Entries » AboutMyBaby - online baby scrapbooks, photo albums, videos, birth and pregnancy announcements

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Sun, Oct 28, 2007 7:00 PM
At the end of last month I went up to where my parents live for my family baby shower. (Yes, I'm behind on my posts again.) My Mom's friend Annie was the hostess, and she threw the most beautiful shower I have ever attended (or hosted).

My friend Nico brought her Mom, which was a treat because I haven't seen her Mom in years, and her 3-year-old daughter. I love having kids around. Well, my friends' kids, anyway.

The food was very good. My Mom and Annie's friend Judy helped bake these really amazing brunch casseroles with eggs and cheese and potatoes. Later we had fresh fruit tarts (instead of cake).

We played some of the usual games (but none of the annoying ones). The game that went the best was the one where no one could say "baby." Everyone started out with a mini-clothespin, and if you heard someone say "baby" you took their pin. I lost mine immediately, and said "baby" as much as I wanted for the rest of the shower. My husband Will proved to be very good at this game, and near the end he was way ahead of everyone else. But someone (my sister, I think) addressed a gift to "Baby Ruth," and without thinking, he read it aloud. My Aunt Ginny walked off with his entire collection of pins, to win the game.

My cousin Meghan introduced a new idea, which I just love. She brought beads: each guest chose a bead, then explained why and what it represented in terms of their wishes for the baby and for me and Will. Then everyone strung their beads together to make, well, probably a bracelet.

We got some really cute gifts, including some unique onesies, and some gifts we truly need, like my Aunt Peggy got us the exact high chair we'll need. (It's designed for little houses like ours.) The most unexpected and delightful gifts came from Judy, who hand-crocheted, not one, but two baby blankets for us, and from my Mom, who presented us with the very mobile that she had hung over my crib.

But the best surprise of all was that my parents arranged for my friend Swati to come out for the shower. Swati and I met in North Carolina; now she lives in Tennessee with her husband and daughter, where they own their own business. Swati was a bridemaid at my wedding, but since then we've only seen each other once.

We all had such a good time that most of us wound up hanging out in Annie's backyard for the rest of the day.

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Thu, Oct 25, 2007 7:00 PM
My friend Kate (the other Kathryn Elizabeth, although I'm not sure how she spells it) said yesterday that she finally understands the temptation to rub pregnant women's bellies. "It's just so ... there," she said. I told her she was welcome, but she resisted.

I've heard the stories about strangers with no sense of personal space, but so far people I don't know have only been kind to me: holding doors, etc. No unwarranted touching. Of course, I have over 2 more months to go, and I'm only going to get bigger. So we'll see.

There has been some belly-rubbing, but it has all come from people I know who are quite welcome: friends, Dr. Sikking's nurse, a couple of co-workers.

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Sun, Oct 21, 2007 6:00 PM
Am I missing something? Am I crazy? I'm starting to read up on childbirth, and I see the words "fear" and "pain" a lot. And I'm not afraid.

I don't think it's going to be easy (or painless), especially given that I want to try a natural birth if I can. I kind of see the whole experience as a really, really, really long roller coaster, and I know that once I'm on it, there's no getting off until the ride comes to a complete stop.

But I've gotten through some pretty painful experiences before. (Stage 4 endometriosis is no cakewalk.)

I've heard all my friends' birthing stories, and I don't think any of them had quite the experience they were hoping for, at least with their first. Each had a unique challenge, and each has a beautiful healthy child today. So I know that things can take some unexpected turns.

And I trust Will. I trust Dr. Sikking. I've been paying close attention to the attitudes of the staff at the various hospitals, and I liked what I saw at Dr. Sikking's hospital. And we're considering bringing in a doula. I know I'll be dependent on these people, but I also know I'll be in good hands.

Now, last night we went to a church fundraiser where they offered tarot readings. Will really wanted a reading, so he asked how the birth would go. And of course one of the three cards was "misery and torment." That creeps me out a little. (The other two were "balance/justice" and "secret/enigma." For what that's worth.)

But creepy tarot readings aside, I just think I can do this. And part of why I think that is, I'd prefer a natural birth, but if the baby or I need some intervention, I'm open to it. And I'm simply not afraid.

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Wed, Oct 17, 2007 7:00 PM
We toured Dr. Sikking's hospital on Monday. No food, no swag, and no door prizes. But more importantly, the parking situation there is problematic. They charge a flat $12/day, or $20/day with in-and-out privileges. Nearby lots are just as expensive, although they do break the charges down (like $1/20 minutes up to $12), and street parking is metered and limited to 2 hours. Will and I will have to plan our parking strategy, and any trips home.

Those were the downsides. The good news is, this hospital is warm and inviting. They do everything I like about the other two: private rooms, baby stays with me, etc., and they are also a Level 2 NICU. The tour leader was a lactation consultant, one of two on staff. She too emphasized that the nurses will work with our preferences (and our doctor's orders, of course), not just follow hospital rules. And they have two operating rooms literally steps from the labor/delivery rooms, and an anesthesiologist on-call 24/7, just in case we need either.

This is a private hospital with some well-heeled friends (as in the Maria Shriver Nursery). Every room has a 42 inch plasma TV, and the whole maternity floor has WiFi. Amongst all the amenities, I was a little surprised to see that Will's bed is a window seat with a cushion on it; the tour leader told us to bring a sleeping bag and pillow. But Will's fine with it -- he says it'll be like camping -- and really, how much sleep is he going to get anyway?

I'm pre-registered, so when it's time, we just drop our car off with the valet (ouch) and head right upstairs to the maternity floor.

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Tue, Oct 16, 2007 7:00 PM
Ok, around 2:30 a.m. my cat decided it was time to play. We had just gotten the cat settled back down and everyone arranged in bed again, when the baby wedged herself as far up near my ribs on my right side as she could fit and proceeded to go nuts. I'm pretty sure that was her head up near my ribs. She was pressing against me so hard I could feel my own heartbeat through a large vein she was compressing. At the same time she was wriggling and kicking away, down in the lower left side of my abdomen. I don't know if she was trying to stretch out, or she got stuck, or she thought this was funny or what. It wasn't painful or even uncomfortable, but it was a little disconcerting. I thought about sitting up and trying to "encourage" her to move, but if I did that I'd get the cat going again, and then nobody would get any sleep. So I waited it out, and eventually she shifted back down.

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Fri, Oct 12, 2007 3:00 PM
Wow.

Will and I have toured 2 hospitals in the last 2 days. (Our 2 possible back-up hospitals -- we tour Dr. Sikking's hospital on Monday.)

The first hospital is 5 minutes from our house, and a level 2 NICU. We had to follow several signs to find the main entrance, and when we pulled in the attendant was dragging a barrier across the entrance to the parking garage. I could get around it, though, and I didn't know where else to go, so I pulled in to ask where I should park. The attendant yelled at me. Then he ignored me. Then finally he gave me some directions I couldn't really understand.

I drove around the block, and finally found some over-flow parking. Then I had to guess how to get back to the main entrance. By the time I did, I had missed most of the introduction to the tour.

I heard some of it, though, mostly some hospital rules. Like, Will was absolutely not allowed to use the emergency parking lot -- he would have to drop me off, in labor, at the door, and then go find somewhere to park the car. And, only 2 visitors are allowed during delivery, including Will, and no pictures or video.

There were a few things I liked about this hospital. The labor/delivery and post-partum rooms are all private, and the baby would stay with me in my room. And we did win something in the gift raffle: a water bottle.

But then, the visiting room was the size of my closet plus Will's closet, and it was full of bored children. And the tour leader talked several times about what a problem this hospital has with theft.

The second hospital is 7 minutes from our house, and also a level 2 NICU. Everything that I liked about the first hospital, they do too: private rooms, baby stays with me, etc.

This hospital sent me a map before the tour telling me where to go. The entrance was clearly marked and led right to a parking garage where we found plenty of parking. Later, the tour leader told us that we are supposed to use the emergency parking when we first arrive in labor.

There was someone waiting in the lobby for all of us, and she led us to a comfortable room with 2 tables full of swag. And even better -- they provided food. They also had some kind of prize for every couple who came for the tour; Will and I got a diaper bag stuffed full of diapers and wipes.

The tour leader was a labor and delivery nurse. Instead of telling us the hospital rules, she made it clear that she works with each patient and their doctor. Guests and cameras are welcome.

I'll almost certainly wind up at Dr. Sikking's hospital. But just in case I don't, it's pretty clear where we'll be headed. I'm also glad we toured both hospitals before we visit Dr. Sikking's, because we have such a great basis for comparison.

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Marilyn Sharron: Since I work in a hospital, I was very interested in your experiences and comparisons. In today's world, hospitals are all vying for patients and would be interested in your experience. You could send a copy of what is written above to the CEO of each Hospital or to your Health Insurance Company who will be paying the bill (or both). Clearly some changes need to be iniated at the first hospital

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Sat, Oct 6, 2007 8:00 PM
Will keeps saying he can't wait for our daughter to be born, can't wait to meet her, and variations on that theme.

I can. I'm in no hurry whatsoever. I think I could stay 6 months pregnant for a very long time.

My daughter and I will never have another time in our lives like this: we're together all the time, we share everything. True, it is one-sided -- we go where I want to go, eat what I want to eat -- but I suspect there will be days when I remember the one-sidedness as fondly as anything.

I love being pregnant.

I have spent years waiting for this, and it's even better than anything I might have imagined.

I've had most of the usual complaints, but so far they've all been short-lived or bearable or both. For the last couple of months, I've felt great. I am starting to feel some of the third trimester aches and tiredness, but that's just spurring me to get some exercise, which invariably helps.

And people are so kind now. One of the guys I volunteer with kept an eye on me throughout our last project, and was up and down getting me anything he saw that I needed: water, stamps, etc. Even the teenage lifeguard at the Y took an interest in my pregnancy.

I did go through a weird staring phase. Just in case you didn't already know, I'm pretty shy and private, so having strangers openly stare at me was a little disconcerting. But then they stopped, and I realized that I had been in that "is she or isn't she?" state. As soon as they could tell I was, they stopped staring.

From the beginning, I've been trying to enjoy the present moment. Early on, I didn't know how long we'd have together, so it was really important to me to appreciate every day. Now it's starting to look like our daughter might be with us for a little longer. I'm looking forward to each thing that may come next, but I'm in absolutely no hurry to get there.

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Wed, Oct 3, 2007 6:00 PM
The one pregnancy symptom that I have not had (yet) is dreams. I keep reading that I should be having vivid, significant, even disturbing dreams -- and I'm not. I talked it over with Will, though, and it turns out that he is. Go figure.

In other news, my gestational diabetes screen came back normal. Dr. Sikking suggested Zantac for the heartburn; that, coupled with some changes to my diet, is making a big difference.

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